From the recording Could Be About You

COULD BE ABOUT YOU – Despite the title, this song was inspired by one girl in particular. We only dated a couple of times, but I had a massive crush on her. Sadly, the timing was all wrong. The story is pretty run of the mill, so I’ll spare you the details. I’ll just say that she was “on a break” and eventually returned to her boyfriend. Not long after, I was invited to their wedding.
We did have one amazing night together in Tijuana. As scintillating as that sounds, it was actually fairly mild, and uneventful. I don’t even think we kissed. We just talked and laughed and drank until just before dawn. I have a pretty great photo of us together that night, and we sure looked like a happy couple (okay, she looked happy. I looked like my normal miserable self, thanks to my stubborn refusal to smile for photos). But the photo is deceiving. The night ended with us both going back to our own homes.
Well, she went home. I was actually house-sitting for my aunt. Having failed to convince Alice to spend the rest of the weekend with me at my Aunt’s, I crawled into bed and passed out immediately, curled up with my aunt’s cat. And I slept like the dead. I slept the sleep that only comes from youth, alcohol and truly living like there is no tomorrow. But at some point, I was stirred by something on my chest, warm and wet and perhaps wriggling? I remembered the cat. Did it just use me for a toilet? I peeled open my dreary eyes to see something about the size of a fist; slimy, dark, maybe hairy, and DEFINITELY wriggling.
“What the fuck!”, I yelled as I jolted up straight.
My aunt’s cat jumped up, startled and more scared than I was, and bolted off the bed. And as she did, the dark, slimy wriggling thing on my chest flew behind her, attached by a long black chord that I assumed was an intestine. Had she just lost some vital organ while sleeping with me? I got up and followed her trail to the closet, where she had sought shelter. Turning on the light, I looked closer as she licked at the slimy blob attached to her. And then I saw it. It was a kitten! She had just given birth. On my chest.
This knowledge didn’t abate my fear, it just shifted its focus. Had I harmed this kitty in my half-sleep horror? It appeared to be alive. Would it make it through the night? Shit. What had I done?
I sat up with the mother as she gave birth to the rest of the litter. Eventually she chewed off the umbilical cords, cleaned them all up, and they all began to nurse. The next few weeks housesitting were awesome. Watching the kittens grow, and eventually climb up on the bed with me was absurdly fun. I only wished Alice could have shared it with me. But she had a husband to wrangle. And it wasn’t me.
So I didn’t get the girl. Again. But I did get a song. And even though I’d been in bands for years, I was not a prolific songwriter in my youth. So I cherished this as an acceptable alternative. And Alice? She’s still married to the same man, and they have a lovely family. Eventually, I even wrangled someone of my own. And I still have the song.
And for the low, low price of one can you.